So it appears I am back again.
I have been incapable of blogging consistently, and I cannot tell you why. My iPhone is probably tired of the many, many blog post ideas I keep penciling in, my journal ablaze with titles unending, yet…
…Nothing. Absolute zero, zilch, nada, has made its way onto this here blog. I think about blogging and I feel tired almost immediately. Sometimes I can even see myself sitting in front of my laptop and letting words escape my fingers – I can see the words dancing around, forming prose in my head. Do they materialize?
Of course not.
In between getting a new job (hello adulthood and crazy UK taxation), adapting to a somewhat corporate environment, learning to drive (and not being too awful at it hallelujah!), and bathing in castor oil with hopes of becoming
Rapunzel by August, life has been moving at a steady, banal, almost mundane way. Wake up. Go to work. Come home. Eat dinner. Watch Game of Thrones. Read Bible. Talk to The Dude. Pray. Sleep. Repeat.
I never thought I would welcome such routine until I was out of steady work for a couple of months. It was the weirdest thing ever. At first it was amazing. I had all the time in the world to find my true calling. To chase my dreams. I sewed, knitted everything and anything, read voraciously, perfected my make up skills and slept professionally. It was the dream for about a month. I stopped knitting because I had made all I wanted to make, waking up to sew didn’t really appeal to me any longer, and even my books irritated me (if you know me you know this is a big deal). Having nothing to do wasn’t fun when the whole world around you was buzzing with daily schedules and rotas. The routine I scorned and complained about became the very thing I craved. I wanted to have a reason to wake up at six am and inhale copious amounts of coffee in order to brace the day because I stayed up watching back to back episodes of Soul Food like the emotionally stable human I am. I wanted to leave the confines of my bed for something other than Sweet n Salt popcorn for once.
Second month into unemployment. I am restless. Annoyed that every job I applied to replied that whilst competent, unfortunately you have not been successful this time around.
Honestly, job applications are so emotionally draining.They want the body of your first cat, the toenail of your current dog, and the tongue of the fly you just swatted in the kitchen. I don’t understand why they require so much. I just don’t.
Fast forward five months later, and I am back in steady employment. During my first week back at work, a patient comes in complaining about something or the other, and I cannot help but smile (inwardly, of course). I’ve missed this. The normalcy of whiny customers, the early mornings, the coffee, oh the coffee, and the realization that despite it all; routine, albeit loathsome, can be a beautiful thing sometimes (Because I will probably forget about this feeling once I feel stuck in a rut and abhor routine then. Haaa. Life).
So. To anyone who either just started looking for work or who has been doing the application thang for a while now, my little piece of advice is: Keep on looking. Don’t let rejection(s) intimidate you or make you second guess just how good you will be for that position that you want. Apply for jobs you don’t even think you will remotely get; I did and I still cannot understand how or why they decided to pick little ol’ me. Just go for it. Put in the work. Be proactive. The job won’t come to you, so you have to put yourself out there and believe in your awesome, honey. You can do this!!!